||Good job Aaron.
Haha, hope the mother was a good bang.
I smirk a little and just maintain a sensitive grin.
||Perhaps they're an avid tennis player and you'd like to highlight their ambition and drive to win through talking about a particularly competitive match that they're in the middle of?
||The instructor had told him to stay where he was but Kevin couldn't stand another boring monotonous minute!
It's late so I've only looked over the first chapter, I hope some of this is helpful!
||> I got carried away at times because I really love some of the characters I made.
It happens to me so much with this novel, is a good feeling.
||I'm a little rusty but still want honest critique, feel free to tell me if it's garbage.
||They don't have to be perfect, or good or even remotely satisfying, you just need to cause change to happen.
||Will they forge bonds of friendship, or even love as they adventure together?
||Look at what you're promising, and whether or not you are fulfilling the promises you've made in interesting or engaging ways.
||Good, very good answer my friend.
Or maybe your setting is delicious and you'd like to establish that, first, then zoom in on your character as they go about the fantastical setting?