/r/holdmyjuicebox Analysis

Ten Most Positive Sentences

Score Sentence
0.910 These kids seem to be so pampered. Kept in such cleanliness, secured, and happy. I am partly sad to see the love, and partly happy that I got a different, rugged sorf of rough childhood.
0.906 In all seriousness, he seems like a great father and things like this make me so excited to be a Dad!
0.902 I don't feel bad for laughing, but I do feel a bit bad for still laughing after the 4th or 5th time
0.896 Don't do stupid shit to other people seems a pretty good rule of life
0.886 So much judgement in this thread, and even if the guy could have been a super hero and done things better this is 100% on the kid.
0.884 Sometimes I'm sceptical if posts like this really need sound, but oh my goodness, that solid bonk sound from the kid's head hitting the board made this so much better.
0.883 That was the best part from me its like I can hear his laugh.
0.883 This is the greatest thing Ive seen all day, thanks for the laughs
0.883 Honest parenting question, based on how old the boy is what is the best parenting opportunity here?
0.883 "So praise with your body stand up sing hallelujah If you can't stop shaking lean back let it move right through ya"

Ten Most Negative Sentences

Score Sentence
-0.973 Yeah things could happen if you're unlucky but the chance that you end up disabled or dead are probably a lot lower than ending up disabled or dead from a stupid car accident.
-0.945 you let out the shittiest stinkiest most rancid shit fart you could ever cook up inside your arsehole and you let it go.
-0.909 Can't even enjoy the illusion of a child dieing by being crushed to death while children are bickering about how old or fake this is.
-0.902 horrible acting from the blonde kid -.- stop posting fake shit plz
-0.896 Pinned my leg and hurt like hell. Damn...I just realized that Gypsy must be dead by now.
-0.895 Kept whispering under my breath eat shit, eat shit.....yay!!. the fuck is wrong with me?
-0.893 I didn't realize my arm was broken until I woke up in excruciating pain in the middle of the night.
-0.891 White people shit this is how people die in poor countries
-0.890 Kids getting hurt is literally one of the things Ihate most in life, wtf is wrong with me.
374 of 509Ranking
4Overall Score
21Positive Score
16Negative Score
79Neutral Score
1.8%All Caps
4.6Avg Word Length